Getting rid of bad habits is a hard task!

So by now you might have noticed that I'm thinking a lot. Maybe I'm thinking too much. It's all that nonsense that goes on in my head, and sometimes it helps to write it down and share it with the world. :O
Anyway, so this is my resumee of the last week.
I struggled a lot with drawing faces, yet again! ARGH! It really felt like I made a step back rather than moving forward. And I asked myself if there was some crucial skill that I lack. That keeps me from getting it right. It's what happens to me from time to time, and I'm always struggling with finding the answer. So maybe I got to explain that I didn't start drawing and painting just a few months or years ago. I actually started drawing on a regular basis when I was 14. That's been 11 years now! But I got to admit that I really started studying about 2007. But that's also already 5 years ago! So I keep thinking why all these years don't matter and what it is that I'm doing wrong, or what it is that only allows me to progress so slowly while all the other young artists around me seem to progress in lightyears. Is it the fact that I can't concentrate well? The fact that I didn't learn to learn as a kid? That I have a hard time being attentive? Well, I notice quite often that I start to paint like a brainless zombie rather than paying attention. I get easily distracted. But I'm really working on being more attentive and to focus. And it's getting better. But then again: 11 years! Come on, some progress should be visible in that amount of time!
And then I thought about WHAT it was that I drew and painted for the first years. I was a stupid Manga-Fanart drawing kid and I didn'r know anything about form and anatomy. So I was learning all those symbols for the head, eyes and noses. A face was a circle filled with a symbol for eyes, mouth and nose. And I repeated these over and over and over again. So I don't just have to learn new things, I also have to get rid of the bad habits I learned before! So what happens anytime I start drawing a face and turn into that zombie mode: I start drawing a mix of what I learned and what my old bad habits are. And that's why they look like shit! So I need to try over and over again until I got the new habit burned into my brain.
And now comes what I already mentioned a few weeks ago: The hours! If it really takes 10000 hours to master a skill (or something like that, I'm sure it's not a measured and proven number) I still got some more hours ahead of me.
I got a daytime job and most of the time I'm spending 2-4 hours a day practicing. That will not make me progress very quickly, so I thought about keeping all the social networking distraction and everything else there is to a minimum and raise my daily practice routine to 5 hours. I really want to get rid of my old habits. I want to make pictures and don't want to rearrange and repaint them for about 20 times until they look somewhat satisfying. So I really need to be disciplined.

Ewww.... lots of talking. That being said, I only finished a few studies this week. I'm working on a colored finished piece too and the SCS I started this week looked like shit and I deleted it. D:
Haha. So bare with the lack of visuals this time! The first one is a SCS as usual that I did last weekend, and after that two portraits from imagination after doing all those Natalie Portman Portraits... Still not looking like her...
I'll go on practicing :D

1 comment:

Antonio said...

Vielleicht brauchst du etwas Unterricht bei einem Maler, der Sachen sieht und dir Zeigen kann, auf die du so nie gekommen wärst. (zB Schoolism oder bei einem richtigen Meister)